I'm feeling very drained out now.... juz got back a while ago from school.... i had this seg orientation trial run in the morning which i felt was totally a waste of my bloody time... i went there at 7.30 and all i was doing there was standing and watching the performances backstage.... it was crap.... then i left "them" at 11.30am, to meet up with the pals.... i was helping them out in the campus concert which by the way is organised by pals itself.... it was pretty cool, but i could see some slight uneasiness shown by some people.... but this is to be expected as it is our first time.... i was again helping out backstage, juz like in the morning.... and juz like in the morning's orientation, i did practically nothing.... i kind of felt useless there..... my job was the most slack.... but kudos to cj, pris, jas bee, zhiyong, and the other ICs who were involved.... they did manage to run the whole thing pretty well, and even though there were hiccups here and there, it is still very commendable as it is their first time..... if it was me, i don't think i would even survive the planning stage.... i have to be honest here.... i don't really have any leadership abilities.... after hearing what cj said during the debriefing, it really got me thinking..... i have always been a follower and was never a leader.... sadly its true.... but i actually knew that a long long time ago.... i have always said and even told some people that they think way too highly of me....

I think some people felt really left out in this event..... and i'm really really sorry for that... those people should know who they are..... really sorry if you feel that way.... Oh ya, today is akil's birthday.... Happy birthday man!! Well, i've gotta go now.... have to wake up damn early tmr for the orientation.... nitez!


Riz lost himself at 6/28/2004 11:42:00 pm

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Shucks! the left side of my lips are swollen.... well, this morning i went to play soccer with my friends.... then while playing, zheng rammed the ball into my face, well my lips area in particular.... as i clutched my face in agony, i realised that there was blood all over the mouth area.... cool... haha... i was stunned of course, but after awhile i realised what was causing the bleeding..... the mouth ulcer that i had before was torn after being rammed... haha.... now my lips are damn swollen... i look like a fool..... man, i hope the swelling will go down by tmr morning.....

oh ya, the swedes lost.... kind of disappointed in that result.... i thought they had a good chance.... oh well.... for the match tonight, i'm going for denmark..... hopefully they won disappoint me juz like the swedes.... haha.... well this euro, i'm going for all the underdogs.... its a good chance for them now, since that most of the big shots are out.... i'm rooting for greece to win.... haha... you may think i'm crazy but i don't care.... i am crazy! yea! haha.... well, i better go to sleep now... got to wake up damn early tmr for the orientation trial run and after that i still have to help out for the campus concert..... well, good night!!


Riz lost himself at 6/28/2004 12:49:00 am

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I'm so sick and tired of this stupid cough..... the feeling sucks... i've been coughing and coughing and coughing.... man, when is this going to stop? its been quite a while now.... if this persists, i might have to go and pay the doctor a little visit.... sigh..... my stomach hurts now due to all the coughing.... ouch, ouch, ouch!!!

oh ya, england and france lost.... what's up with that man!! well, i wasn't really surprise at the results.... i mean, all the signs were there, especially for the france match..... france have not been performing to expections, while greece have performed way above everybody's expectations.... then, before the match, you could actually see the french players walking into their dressing rooms with such arrogance and they were so relaxed..... some even came in listening to music with those big earphones.... how cool is that! haha.... while the greece players went into their dressing room with such concentration, with that confident but humble look.... that's a look of a true sportsman to me..... anyways, they lost and i think they have only themselves to blame.... they were simply too overconfident..... as for england, well kudos to them for playing their hearts out.... even though i don't like the english, i think this time they did really well.... well, TOO BAD!!!! haha.... as for the match later on, i'm favouring sweden to beat the "oranges".... holland juz have too many internal probs and i think that might juz cause their downfall.... i mean, we don hear much bout probs in the dutch camp but i'm sure there's something that happening that their camp doesn't want us to hear bout.... its juz their nature to argue bout something... haha.... well, its juz a guess.... both teams are equally good and either one can win it.... well, the best thing is to juz enjoy the match... haha...

today, i went to school to meet up with rajam, erna and frau soebekti to do up the other noticeboards.... wtf, how come we have so many noticeboards?!!! can you imagine, we have 5 of those damn bloody noticeboards...... and we did 4 of them today..... juz the 4 of us.... it was really really tiring.... yea, one is outside fj, the rest are all around the 5th level of block S.... sick of seeing my face all over the place, but what can i do, i'm too famous... hahaha.... juz kidding!! ok akil, i know what you're going to say... you're going to say that i'm famous, but you're much much more famous than me right? and its because i'm malay right? haha.... akil, akil.... juz because you banged into someone, and that someone starts to talk to you more and smile at you more, it doesn't mean a DAMN THING!!! haha.... and i know that you banged into her on purpose right? don't think i don't know.... you cunning bastard! haha.... chill yah man! don't kill me for this.... do take into account our long and precious and lovely friendship... haha....

i'll be meeting up my old gang again tmr morning for another round of soccer action... haha... yea, i heard we're preparing for some soccer tournament or something.... cool.... can't wait to meet them tmr.... i'm going to stop here now.... see ya!!


Riz lost himself at 6/27/2004 01:28:00 am

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well, nothing special happened today..... i went to school as usual for the campus concert briefing, which i wasn't really listening to, thanks to the antics of my good friends jasmine and akil.... haha.... we then had lunch together with sham and leon who joined us.... after lunch we followed sham and leon to their labs to look at how they do their experiments..... it was cool watching them do their stuff.... haha.... although i really felt out of place there....

i only stayed for a while there cause i was meeting expert, beckham, kel and ah beng.... i had to hand in the form for my third year maths together with expert and kel, while beckham and beng went to see our personal mentor bout their new classes that they were assigned to..... both of them are alone in their respective classes without anyone from our previous class.... beckham was particularly upset bout it.... i pity them man..... luckily for me, i have three friends with me.... david, expert and that bastard akil.... damn, not again..... haha....

yea, i told zin bout the dream i had the night before.... haha.... i think she was quite shocked when she heard that she was in my dream... haha.... to all of you who are wondering bout it, it is not something dirty! it's something really funny and lame.... that's all....

finally, the quarterfinals are here!!! woo hoo!! i can finally watch the matches!! yea!!! haha.... will be watching the match between england and portugal later on.... ermm, i don really support any of the two teams, but i will be happier if england loses.... haha.... i really don't know why i feel that way but i juz do.... well, i will stop here!! PeACe!!!


Riz lost himself at 6/25/2004 12:42:00 am

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What a day... haha.... i went to school for the orientation briefing at 10am..... it lasted for only an hour.... what only..... then i went to meet up with cj, pris and some of the pals at block E where they were distributing the tickets.... after a while i felt bored and decided to go home since i wasn't helping much anyway.... in fact, i wasn't helping at all.... haha..... i went home at around 12 and took a nap before meeting up with the gang in the evening as we were going to hard rock cafe for the "brother and sister" showcase......

The showcase or mini concert, whatever you want to call it, was surprisingly cool and fun.... haha... yea, i had a great time there with the gang.... the "sister" actually waved at me!!! haha.... the group is quite good.... the songs were pretty catchy and they danced really really well.... i heard they were world dance champions or something.... how cool is that! haha.... i might juz turn into a fan.... haha.... can't bare the thought of that.... i think i was really making a fool of myself there... haha... sham, akil and leon can attest to that.... come to think of it, i've always been a fool.... i'm a stupid, crazy, mean, wacky and moronic pig..... oh well.... oh yah, it was also pris birthday! Happy Birthday Pris!!!!

I had a very very weird and stupid dream last night, those types that i thought only akil could dream of.... haha... it is so so stupid that i can't believe it myself.... zin was involved in that short dream of mine.... it was so weird.... won write it down cause you all will probably laugh your heads off.... you won't be laughing because its funny, you will be laughing because its so so stupid and lame... haha.... for those of you who want to know, you will have to ask me in person.... haha... even then, i won guarantee that i will tell you... hehe....

Juz found out that the postings of classes for the new semester are out.... my class has been separated.... with some batches here and there.... a couple of them are even isolated meaning that they are alone without anyone from their previous class..... this sucks man..... and the thing is, i can't access the damn e-services now.... screw it!! now i have to go check it tmr instead.... i'm so so scared that i'll be separated from my class.... we have been together for 2 years and we are really close now.... sigh.... juz praying that i'll not be isolated...... biting my nails now due to the extreme nervousness.... haha.... well, gotta go now.... got another briefing tmr morning.... nitez!!!




Riz lost himself at 6/24/2004 01:26:00 am

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I'm so so tired now..... went to school to meet up with rajam to do up the noticeboard for the club..... we spent the whole afternoon juz doing it.... the torture finally ended at around 7 plus.... it was a killer man... didn't know that doing up a noticeboard can be so so tiring.....

Then, when i went home and while i was lying on my bed relaxing, i got this call from this girl from the seg club..... she didn't even introduce herself to me and juz started asking me questions bout the orientation and whether i was helping out and stuff.... and she asked me to help out for her section.... i mean, i don't know her and she's asking me all these questions? what only man... do i look like i have telepathic powers to you?! haha... but then, i didn't know what came over me and i said yes.... i actually said yes!! what the hell is wrong with you riz? can't you say no for once? no excuses now riz, screw you riz!! now you have to wake up early tmr morning juz to meet someone you have never met before..... stupid riz! stupid stupid riz!!! well, like some BABIES said, i'm a stupid, crazy, mean, wacky and moronic pig.... i guess that explains why i said yes.... yea.... i'm so so stupid that its ridiculous....

Well, at least i have something to look forward to tmr.... i'll be meeting the gang at hard rock cafe in the evening.... we're going for a showcase for this band called "brothers and sisters"(ermm... i wonder how they got the idea for that name) well, it'll be a good time to chill out with the gang, i hope.... there seems to be some problem happening in the group.... not too sure what's happening though so i shall not say much.... sigh, i think i better end here..... hopefully i can get to sleep soon....



Riz lost himself at 6/23/2004 01:05:00 am

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Damn shagged now.... juz got back from a run.... yea, my timing improved by 10 seconds.... woo hoo!! haha.... i know its not much, but i'm still happy bout it.... if this continues, i'll be in tip top condition in no time.... haha.... well, did nothing much today.... i was still trying to get help for the campus concert for cj and pris.... ermm, response hasn't been that good.... oh well, i'll keep trying....

will be meetin up with rajam tmr to do up the german club noticeboard.... yea, only the 2 of us cause the rest are either away or working..... what man.... what to do.... i have to depend on rajam cause i know nuts bout these stuff.... and i got a call from erfan that he wants the german club to perform the dance that we did on the 21st and 22nd of august for this travel fair on germany..... apparently, he really liked what he saw when we performed at sentosa last month.... haha..... man, i really don't know if i want to perform again.... kind of tired of it.... haha.... well, i'll have to consult the dance comm first and see their response....

yea, read kel's blog..... don worry man, its not you.... haha.... surprised to know that he has already met her family.... cool.... i'm happy for them.... i'll stop now.... PeACe!


Riz lost himself at 6/21/2004 09:05:00 pm

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Yo! haha.... feeling sleepy now.... gosh, i've been sleeping really late every night ever since the holidays started.... haha... yea, i'm a damn slacker!! well, this morning (or should i say yesterday morning) i had a great time with zheng jie, boon hao and weiren.... its been a damn long time since i've seen them.... they look so fit now man.... and i mean they are really fit! haha.... we were playing soccer from 10 till bout 12 plus under the damn hot sun.... haha.... are we crazy or what!? it was really fun but tiring... in fact i think i've bruised my shin from a tackle... i'm walking with a limp now.... damn.... and we're planning to join this soccer competition which was planned by this friend of ours, whose dad is one of the RC comm or something.... can't remember.... haha... yea, it'll be cool..... juz like the good old days....

My good friend, medi, is leaving today in the afternoon..... gonna miss him like hell man.... hey dude! don forget me when you're over there... and i'll send you the pictures that i promised.... haha.... you'll be mesmerised by it man.... haha..... well, take care dude!! all the best to ya!!

Well, i tried to talk to that "someone" earlier in the night.... i smsed him asking if we could talk.... he didn't reply.... then i smsed him again.... he still didn't reply.... then when i went online, i saw him and went to say hi.... i also asked him the same question that i had asked him in the sms earlier..... and guess what? HE DIDN'T REPLY!! woah!! that was such a surprise!!! i thought of juz calling him straight, but if he's not replying me, then that means that he's not ready to talk to me, so what's the use of me calling him..... i mean, what's the problem with him! if he's mad at me or something, come and tell me straight to the face..... don go hiding behind your computer and be all quiet..... you've already told some people bout your problem with me, so why can't you talk to me bout it? is it that hard? man, i'm trying not to get pissed, but the way you're treating me, well i'm getting pissed alright..... maybe i'm wrong bout you.... but you still have to talk to me to tell me that i'm wrong.... its not going to help being all quiet..... come on man..... it may all be a misunderstanding for all we know.... if that person is reading this, please know that i don hate you or anything.... i want to work this thing out.... so if i ever message you again or call you, please do try to listen and talk.... i'm really sure we can work things out.... i'm gonna stop here.... gotta sleep....


Riz lost himself at 6/21/2004 01:29:00 am

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Got up today at 10 to meet up with my good friend medi..... he's leaving singapore on monday and probably won't be back for a long time.... so sad... yea, we went for lunch and after that we went to catch the movie "the chronicles of riddick".... it was a cool movie.... not that bad actually....

After the movie we went back home.... i reached home at 5, took a short nap, woke up at 6.30 and then set out to meet up with akil and chantel at the serangoon mrt station.... we were going over to janette's place for some fun baby... haha... in the end, i waited for like 1 hour for these two friends of mine..... what only.... i then found out from akil that this dear lady friend of ours was the cause of it all.... haha.... i'm being sarcastic here.... made me rot at the bus stop for nothing.... yea, we had fun at miss janette's place.... there was plenty to eat..... janette's a really nice lady, always treating us to stuff.... feel kind of bad already..... thanks yah janette!!

i left at around 10, together with akil, chantel and r one.... i "escorted" them to their bus stops and then headed home..... haha.... and yah, you can really die talking to chantel.... she can seriously drive you nuts.... juz ask akil.... it seems to me that she's even worse than jasmine... haha.... and by that i mean she's really BLUR!!!

ermm.... now back to some serious stuff... juz thought bout it.... its bout that "thing" that i've been talking bout.... should i talk to him? it seems that he's been acting cold towards me.... man, its not that i actually care bout that, in fact i don really care.... but come to think of it, it won be nice if it continues this way.... i mean, he's my friends' friend..... sigh, this is getting nowhere.... like i said before, i didn't even know that he had a problem with me in the first place.... what's up with that man! geez.... i better stop here and get some sleep if i want to wake up early tmr morning..... will be meeting up with zheng jie and the rest for some soccer action! yea baby!! it's been a long time.... haha... nitez!


Riz lost himself at 6/20/2004 01:39:00 am

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What a hot day man...... haha.... yesterday, i went to school for the OH 2005 meeting with miss janette and the gang.... it was a cool meeting, yea by that i mean i did nothing.... haha.... i juz sat behind and listened to the discussion.... oh yea, i did share some of my experience with them, but it was mostly akil who did all the talking.... haha.... my good assistant.... hehe.... i'm mean.... leon and sham joined us during lunch.... it was cool to see them again after so long, especially leon..... he's still the crappy and lame guy i have always known.... haha.... and jun was like disturbing me the whole time.... i could see that she was also disturbing the others, but this was the first time she actually tortured me to the point where i was actually scared of going near her.... haha.... what only man.....

After the meeting, the gang went to changi airport to chill out with the exception of chantel and akil, who by the way was going to meet that special someone.... haha... how was it akil? you had fun? haha.... honestly, i don't know how we decided on changi airport.... but it was cool..... i think we had fun there..... after that, kel, jas chen, jas lee and sham went to jalan kayu for prata while the rest headed home including me.....

ermm, its 4.30pm now..... think i'm gonna go out for a run later.... got to get my fitness back.... haha.... and i've been coughing really really badly these past few days.... my mum is kind of nagging me to go see the doctor.... but i'm juz plain lazy to go see the doc..... in fact, i hate going there.... it sucks.... well, i'm going to stop now.... PeACe! :D




Riz lost himself at 6/18/2004 03:53:00 pm

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i'm feeling really bored now.... and i'm still feeling tired even though its 4.30pm.... what's up with that man.... muz be the medicine that my mum forced me to eat... haha... i sound like a small kid here..... well, i woke up at 1, then got up to bath and stuff, then after that i went lie down on my beg listening to some songs by air supply, and somehow i fell asleep again and woke up at 4.... how cool is that? i muz be the laziest guy on earth right now.... haha....

Well, yesterday i went to school to meet up with vinder, chantel and zin.... we were doing up the proposal form for the club crawl.... after handing up the form to karen, we met up with akil and went for the club crawl briefing at 3.... and akil was like SO happy when he saw that the girl that he liked was at the briefing... haha... you should have seen his face.... he was grinning from ear to ear.... haha..... and we were all like teasing him throughout the whole briefing... haha.... it was damn funny man.... after the briefing, we went to the library to discuss bout the posters and stuff.... but in the end, i think we were playing and teasing each other instead of doing any real work.... haha..... and zin scratched me.... grrrr.... haha....

After that, the rest went home while akil and i went to play pool for a while.... as usual, he thrashed me.... but he was juz lucky.... juz you wait man, i'll get you someday.... haha....

I'm still waiting to resolve this one matter which has been bothering me.... but, like someone said, i juz have to be patient bout it.... but i really want to say sorry to that someone... she thought i was angry, but i wasn't.... but i guess the tone of my message could have made her thought that way.... well, shit happens..... and i hope she'll get well soon.... gonna stop here for now... maybe i'll go back to sleep.... haha....


Riz lost himself at 6/16/2004 04:21:00 pm

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man, i'm shagged.... whole body is crying out for help now... well, this evening i went for a run with akil, ah beng, david and beckham.... it was really cool to meet up with them again..... and i think i did a pretty good timing, compared to my last run a few weeks ago..... haha.... but now, the whole body is juz ready to collapse..... i'm so out of shape man..... haha...

it seems that i'll be missing all the first round action for euro 2004..... so sad now..... i even missed the france-england match..... i don have cable tv.... how shitty is that..... sigh.....

juz chatted with zin.... can tell that she's feeling pretty down..... as a friend, i'm sad to see that.... cheer up yah girl?! You're a really great girl! don't think too much.... SMIlE!!

I'll be meeting vinder, chantel, zin for the club crawl thingy tmr.... boss might be coming too! how cool is that?!! haha.... but i wonder how the title boss came to him in the first place... hmmm.... i wonder.... haha.... i'm gonna stop here now..... ciao!


Riz lost himself at 6/15/2004 12:42:00 am

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Well, to start off my entry today, let me juz say this..... ENGLAND LOST!!!! haha.... i'm crazy.... yeah!! haha... i got an sms from zin saying she's happy with the result of the match.... woah, didn't know she was a french supporter too.... haha.... yeah baby!! its not that i love france.... i juz hate the english.... except for my beloved arsenal that is... hehe.... well chantel, what do you have to say bout becks now? haha.... that "no balls" guy even got his penalty saved.... what only...

Well, chatted with chantel online last night..... found out that kel was talking to her..... and everything's fine now! and i'm so glad for her.... everything's settled now.... phew! what a week it has been.... haha..... but then, juz when i thought everything's ok, another thing came up.... and it has nothing to do with the things that has been happening the past week.... and the thing is, i didn't even know that there was a problem between me and that guy..... what only man.... was kind of shocked when i heard what he said bout me..... not gonna mention his name though.... i think i'm gonna let it pass and pretend i didn't hear what he said.....

One of my good friends, medi smsed me yesterday..... he's going to australia to study.... juz realised that i have not been spending enough time with him ever since he came back to singapore..... been neglecting him man.... feel so bad.... well, i promised him that i'll meet up with him before he leaves next week.... i'm gonna miss him.... well, i'm gonna end here for now.... maybe i'll write more tonight....


Riz lost himself at 6/14/2004 12:44:00 pm

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Euro 2004 is here! woo hoo! haha.... chantel sms me juz a while ago saying she's disappointed in portugal.... i was kinda shocked.... didn't know she watches soccer too... haha.... well, portugal lost!:P was out the whole day today.... went out with vinder in the afternoon.... we went to bras basah to check out the prices of the stuff for the club crawl.... on my way to meet vinder, i met miss janette at the serangoon mrt station.... haha... such a small world isn't it? we rode the train together to dhoby gaut where she left to meet her family i think while i went on to meet vinder.... after that i went to my grandparents place with my family.... then, halfway through, my whole family left to go out shopping leaving me with the terror of a brother that i have.... haha... juz kidding, i love my brother so so much! will do almost anything for him! haha.... but somehow he got sick, maybe it was due to something he ate, and he vomitted twice.... man, and i had to tend to him.... but it was cool.... like i said, i would do almost anything for him.... i love him so much!!

well, kel called me last night, or should i say this morning, at around 3.30am.... we talked for bout an hour.... we had a serious chat.... not gonna say what was said between the both of us, but i can tell you now that the problem between him and me are resolved..... but don get it wrong, things are not going to get back to normal.... its juz that we both agreed to let it go and not dwell on it anymore..... i respect his opinions and he respects mine.... he told me that he's gonna call chantel one of these days and have a serious talk with her juz like what he did with me.... i juz hope that the talk would be conducted in a calm manner.... i'm juz a little worried bout chantel, she might not be able to control her emotions.... but i trust kel to be a gentleman and be cool bout it....

Akil smsed me earlier tonight, saying that he and kel had a talk this morning.... but he assured me that there was no arguments between the both of them.... i'm glad.... was really worried that he might get into a clash with kel.... really glad that it didn't happen......

Jasmine is coming back tmr! haha.... i pray that she'll have a safe journey back home.... i feel really bad because on the night before she left, she thought i was angry at her over "something"..... and i did tell her that i wasn't.... but then i found out from sham that she still thought i was angry at her.... silly girl! haha.... i told you that i wasn't angry at you!! i can never be angry at you.... you are one of my good friends who has always been there for me.... and i really appreciate it... thank you so much!


Riz lost himself at 6/13/2004 02:27:00 am

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yo! well, talked to chantel on the phone this afternoon after i met up with vinder.... she kinda cried and it made me pissed at that person again.... i was actually ok with the stuff that was happening and had cool down but after she cried, i got mad again..... i mean, she's a girl and you've got to be a little sensitive bout the things you say to her or the things you write bout her.... i still respect you dude, please.... please don't make me lose that respect for you..... lets juz let it go peacefully.....

I juz saw his blog.... it seems that he feels that he is totally right.... well, if that is what he thinks, then juz let him.... i don have to explain myself, cause i have nothing to hide.... let him say what he wants.... well, he says he is ready to forgive me.... hmm... should i say thank you for that? geez.... i really don't know.... well, i tell you wat, i'll forgive you and you'll forgive me.... but get this straight, things are never ever going to get back to normal between us..... we will be juz like those "hi" and "bye" type of friends..... well, i'm all for peace but that's the only type of friendship that we can have.... in fact, i've already forgiven u.... but like you have always say, i can forgive but i can never forget..... lets juz let this go once and for all before someone else gets hurt.....i'm sure u still have some dignity left to be able to do that.....

i'm chatting to zin online now.... she keeps saying that she's nothing..... what only.... you ARE a great girl! trust me on this.... heard that akil's gonna talk to kel tmr.... told him not to let his emotions get the better of him.... he told me he's gonna talk to him nicely.... juz hope nothing happens man..... i really don't want another problem to arise..... praying hard now....


Riz lost himself at 6/11/2004 11:49:00 pm

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i juz saw chantel's blog..... it seems that she wants to quit.... sigh..... i really don't know what to say.... honestly, i really don't know how i should react..... i know that she has the right to quit and i cannot be selfish and force her to stay if that's against her wishes.... but after all that i've done all this while trying to keep her in and fighting to get her and zin into the comm in the first place, well its like a total waste.... i feel like shit now..... so so tired..... juz feel like telling akil to take over me and let me "retire" early.... and i still have to meet her tmr morning.... we're gonna meet vinder for the club crawl thingy...... donno how i'm gonna meet her tmr.... how should i react? should i appear happy and pretend i never saw that blog? sigh.... i dunno.... i'm tired now.... gonna sleep...


Riz lost himself at 6/11/2004 01:13:00 am

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Ok, i did it.... i finally blew my top at kel..... this isn't the first time that we have had conflicts, but i can say that its the worse.... was afraid that this would happen... i actually wanted to talk to sham tmr bout how i felt hoping that he could advise me on how to handle the situation.... but wham, it had to happen today.... when i went online, kel was already cursing chantel like nobody's business.... i should have kept my mouth shut cause i know that was juz his way of doing things, but NO, i HAD to say something..... stupid me.... he was saying chantel purposely invited him to see her new blog in order to spite him.... i took a look at her blog and i seriously didn't see much wrong in it.... she wasn't blasting him, in fact at one point, she even thank him for trying to solve the problems..... and he challenged me..... he was saying don you dare stand up for her....... man, i really hate it when people challenge me.... that was when i really blew up..... but i'm not blameless..... i was wrong too.... shouldn't have blasted at him.... he was juz in one of those bad moods.... sigh.....

Well, what is done is done...... can't do much bout it now.... i really hope that he's ok.... actually, i was already quite annoyed at him before tonight.... cause i feel that he's doing things to help me without telling me anything.... he's interfering in my life too much.... i know that i confide in him and stuff, but i didn't ask him to do anything.... i juz need someone to listen to me.... i know he's juz trying to help and i thank him for that, but one must know his limits.....actually, that was what i wanted to talk to sham bout.... but i was one day too late.....

I met hafiz just now and he brought me to this company which specializes in networking.... went through this so called business proposal with a very "friendly" guy.... after a few minutes talking to him, i already hated the guy..... he was way too aggressive in his presentation to me.... and i was actually observing him all the time and i could see that he was doing the stuff that i was taught in comm skills..... haha.... it was damn funny to watch him.... he was trying to make me sign up there and then before i leave and it was like he couldn't take no for an answer.... he kept asking me what's the prob and that only stupid people wouldn't sign up for this so called business plan..... i was pissed then.... what if i didn't sign up for it? am i stupid then? haha.... but it was really funny the way we "argued"..... he wanted me to sign up and i wanted to think bout it first.... he had a lot of reasons for me to sign up.... he even "solved" my problems for me..... what only man.... in the end, he gave in and told me to think bout it..... haha.... the plan isn't too bad, but i juz don have the capital to sign up for it..... i'm like so broke.... the money that i have now can't even buy me a movie ticket.... man.... so sad right? haha.... k, i've gotta go...... rizal out!(imitates ryan seacrest):P


Riz lost himself at 6/10/2004 01:43:00 am

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Man.... i did something stupid again today.... i spoiled the mood of a perfectly good outing..... what the hell is wrong with me? i don't know.... i guess i was juz fed up with chantel's constant saying that she wants to quit.... i also don really accept her reason that she feels that she is useless in the group and that it doesn't matter if they are there or not.... i know how they feel, cause i've felt that way before..... those people who are close to me should know that...... and i should have thought bout that before i got pissed off.... stupid me......

Well, after listening to jasmine, and after some soul searching, i realised that i was completely wrong in behaving and thinking the way i did.... akil tried to drill some sense into me too, but it was all too late.... i really regret my actions now.... but i guess its no use crying over spilt milk..... well, i think i'm gonna apologise to her tmr.... i can only hope that she'll accept my apology..... sigh.....

Chantel bought gifts for the gang from genting.... she bought me and boss that stuff that can be hung on our handphones.... can't remember what its called..... she wrote ultraman for my name.... what siah.... for jasmine, it was a necklace i think with the wordings senior gina.... haha..... can't remember for the rest though....

Met up with jaisie with cj, jasmine chen and kelvin.... but that bastard kelvin was late.... he was the one who was actually meeting her with cj.... me and jas were juz tagging along.... haha... and yet he can be late..... the girl is leaving at 5 and he arrives at 4.50..... he think he's very big is it? asshole.... haha.... yea, jaisie is a pretty nice girl from what i see.... very outgoing and friendly..... that kelvin better not bully her or else..... haha....

yah, i promised to meet hafiz tmr night for the so called business briefing.... still wondering if i'm doing the right thing.... well, i have nothing to lose right? might as well go and see what its all bout.... i'm going to stop here now.... PeACe!


Riz lost himself at 6/09/2004 01:52:00 am

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Man, i think i'm falling sick... my body feels so weak and i'm aching all over.... not to mention that i'm coughing pretty bad.... as usual... haha.... well, juz got off the phone with chantel... she juz got back from genting..... she sounded pretty bad, even worse than me.... she was coughing and coughing and coughing.... sigh... and she's saying i am the reason for it cause i already had the cough before she went to genting.... what only... so now, everything's my fault is it?!! haha... she told me that she bought stuff for the gang and her friends.... and she spent like way way over a hundred singapore dollars juz for those.... wow! is she rich or what! haha.... and she was telling how she was shopping and shopping over there... ok lah, i know what you're trying to imply here.... people here in singapore rotting like what while that some other person enjoys herself somewhere outside singapore....

yea, asked her bout that time she and zinmar wanted to quit pal.... and she was like saying she wants more time for herself and stuff.... i really don't know what to say.... sad siah... and she says she needs more time to fall in love, to find her mr right.... what man, she can still do that while she's still in pal what.... i remember last time someone said she don't want to fall in love in poly and she wants to concentrate on her work and friends.... and now she's contradicting herself.... haha.... juz kidding..... haha.... if you're reading this, please don't take it to heart:D

zinmar is also sick today.... she went off from work earlier because of that.... seems like everyone is falling sick these few days.... sigh..... i also read CJ's blog.... it really opened my eyes man..... there were some stuff that were said bout me and i muz say i agree with most of it... haha... i realised how childish i was before.... now, to think of it, what i did then was really stupid siah.... so ashamed of myself.... haha....
it also kind of showed me how people looked at me and stuff.... but no worries cj, i'm not offended, in fact i was laughing at myself while i was reading it.... it was so true.... haha.... :D


Riz lost himself at 6/08/2004 12:47:00 am

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Man, i totally wasted a good day today..... i woke up at 12 plus cause kel called me.... and after that i went back to sleep.... i finally woke up at 3.... man, what a pig! I seriously did nothing worth mentioning today.... totally disappointed at myself... haha....

Well, hafiz messaged me today asking me if i wanted to earn some extra cash.... he says that its some kind of business stuff though i don't really know what's it all bout.... he says he wants to meet me this wed night.... i really don't know if i should go... but i need the cash.... man, this is shitty.... i'm broke now even though i got my allowance like only 2 weeks ago.... still 2 weeks to go before my next allowance..... sigh....

A friend of mine, chantel, is coming back from genting tmr.... or should i say today? well, i hope and pray that she'll have a safe journey back home... that's all i can do.... and yah, kel is having his supp paper tmr. i wish him all the best too... come on dude! stop calling yourself stupid! you're totally not.... you're smart and don't forget, you're the cutest guy around right? haha.... someone is very happy today siah... someone said that she's so touched at that someone's actions and that she finds it sweet.... wah, happy siah... hahaha..... that someone will know that i'm talking bout him.... hehe.... well, gotta go now.... tschus


Riz lost himself at 6/07/2004 01:33:00 am

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I finally did something which i have been telling myself to do for the past few weeks..... got my butt up and went to the stadium for a run..... haha.... couldn't believe how out of shape i am now... man, miss those days in sec school when there were track and field training twice a week.... or was it trice a week? whatever lah.... haha... can't remember....

I've also made up my mind not to go for the OGL camp next week.... I'm actually supposed to be involved in the planning of the games for the orientation for the freshies.... i went for the first meeting and i decided not to get involved anymore.... I'm juz too damn tired and i'm also pissed at one of the person there.... wants us to help out but she's giving us that stupid fucking attitude.... what the fuck!! If she thinks she's so fucking big, then do the fucking job by yourself..... Bitch!!

Well, i had a chat with kelvin today.... man, is he in love or what.... hahaha.... but seriously, i'm really happy for him.... and i really hope that things will work out for this friend of mine.... He says that as long as i don get a new target, he won't get attached.... haha.... what only siah... yo bro, if you're reading this, PLEASE don't wait for me.... I'm still stuck.... you know what i mean... haha... yea, you go ahead with your plans.... i'll be behind you all the way man..... :D


Riz lost himself at 6/06/2004 03:58:00 am

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Hey ya! This is my first post here..... yea.... haha.... kind of crappy yah.... I want to thank my cool sis for helping me with creating this blog of mine.... Thanks sis! You're the best!!! Well, dun really know what to write for today.... kind of exhausted now.... haha... lame excuse.... well, ciao!


Riz lost himself at 6/04/2004 11:17:00 pm

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